"A woman with a penis surely is by definition a woman." Norrie is not a person to mince her words, and she's also not a person to ever be short of them.
"Some people may be puzzled by that remark Norrie," I challenge her tentatively, and she instantly has a comeback:
"If you're saying one woman has black skin, another has white. Someone else may have a sixth finger, or there are hermaphrodites who have the ability to reproduce - having features that are masculine, doesn't stop them from being a woman." Norrie describes herself by many names - eunuch, androgyne - and woman. "Being a woman is a social identity. We don't see people's privates in public, yet we make assumptions about them. If you're talking like a woman, dressing like a woman, moving like a woman...then you're a woman."
Different identity
Norrie May-Welby was born a boy, but always knew that he didn't fit completely in the rough and tumble boys world of boys in the macho, sporting society of Australia in the 1960s. He liked to dress in girls clothes, moved in a feminine way, developed an identity that was ‘different' from the boys in his class.
Norrie: refuses to belong to either gender |
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Soon after starting university he was in drag, and cultivating a consciously androgynous look. At the age of 28, he had a sex change operation, but decided against taking the hormones to "become a woman and disappear into the suburbs" as other transsexuals were doing at the time.
Both genders
Norrie has consciously decided to refuse to belong to either gender, claiming instead, the right to claim both. "If I choose one or the other, I'd be hiding a large part of who I am. I'm about 60% female and 40% male." But this decision poses the world with which Norrie interacts, with a dilemma - do we address a post operative breastless, self styled eunuch as a "he" or a "she"?
Norrie herself is casual about it, generally preferring "she" but accepting that people who knew her as a boy, may have trouble with the switch. But when people deliberately use the "he" pronoun when Norrie is dressing as a woman that particular day, she feels they're the ones making an issue out of it. "Its like they're saying I'm ‘other' than them, but I'm a human being just like them."
But Norrie is used to being hassled about her choices. She's regularly taunted on the streets by gangs of kids, or asked roughly "what are you?" in public places. "People think it's ok to ask about the state of my private parts when I'm out buying a bottle of milk." But she laughs off the matter saying, "Twenty years ago, I could have been killed for my looking the way I look, so I'm happy that society has progressed since then, that trannies are almost mainstream in Sydney these days."
Pack mentality
When asked if she could somehow turn the clock back and have a choice about being born a "normal" boy or girl, her answer is unequivocal. "Absolutely not. I don't think anyone is that because we're all individual humans and the more we try to be normal, the less true we are to ourselves."
"But what about all the hassles", I press, "the need to be on the constant look out for danger, from people who don't approve of non-conformists like you?" But Norrie has an answer to that too. "Anyone living out of the ordinary will have that - people have a pack mentality that attacks anything that doesn't fit into their boxes - and they could be the local genius, the peace activist or someone like me. Sure there's an element of risk, but it makes for a life worth living."
Tags:
androgyny,
Norrie May-Welby,
sex-change,
sexual identity
norrie mAy-welby,
spansexual1@gmail.com,
02-02-2009
-
Julia, I'm not an attention whore.. I don't charge for this, I'm a media slut, I do it for free (that is, partake in human discourse). Of course, if the words mean something else to you that's fine too, I'm not the thought police ; ) But whoring is only something I do for money, not attention. Attention is not something ever lacking in my life.
jasmin,
27-01-2009
- India
Nobody is a total male or a female. We have both the hormones, in varying ratios that define our appearances. Why, bother any person, who is comfortable as he or she is. Live and let live.
Cris Melo,
25-01-2009
- USA
Thank you for this interview, RNW! I love what Norrie says as to why she believes her personal choice triggers anger in people. She hit the nail in the head, and it's the underlying reason for so much hatred, bullying and prejudice that we may witness or contribute to in the world. It's not just about gender either: a self-assured person, who's living by his/her own rules is bound to attract curiosity, as much as primal jealously from others - the ones living unfulfilled lives, who can't stand the sight of those who made a choice in life to be happy and content now, to discover and to express their true selves. It seems to mirror back to them the inner unhappiness they feel about their own choices. After all, we are always making choices, one way or another.
So my hope for you, Norrie, is that people will eventually quit shooting the messenger in you.
Congratulations for taking that path and for speaking up so kindly and confidently.
Big hug!
Julia XA,
25-01-2009
-
Norrie should be whatever he/she wants to be ... but doesn't have the right to control others' thoughts about him/her.
He/she strikes me as an attention whore.
norrie mAy-welby,
25-01-2009
- Australia
I took the hormones because I accepted the advice of those who said my feminine identification proscribed it. I stopped when I realised some of my femininity was from a bottle, not inherent, and I wanted to just be whoever I was, without needing to manufacture an identity with pills. My identity, by the way, is very sound, now that I don't base it on binary gender, thanks. Freeing myself from marketing categories means I can discover for myself how I see myself as this particular social animal in these particular moments of social history.
Emily,
25-01-2009
- USA
Thanks to all for the interview. I wonder how Norrie decided to progress as far as she did and stop hormones. Did it feel like you were extinguishing part of your identity? I was born male and have been on estrogen for almost 10 years, but my identity feels unsettled in many ways.
Zythyra,
24-01-2009
- USA
Norrie, thanks for being exactly who you are! I look forward to the day when all of us can freely and safely live as any gender, binary or other, that feels right for us.
Ani,
24-01-2009
-
Glad you are so strong, hon. Man and Woman is what divides us all in so many ways. Male and Female are just biological descriptions. We should all be able to be all parts of ourselves whenever we want. All the definitions are meaningless in the end. Girls wear dresses, trousers, short hair long hair, do macho stuff and fem stuff. But guys are still stuck in guyland and actually it's women who keep them there, it's time for us all to let go.
John Duthie,
24-01-2009
- Australia
A fabulous and uplifting story. I am certain Norrie is a bastion of strength to many people around the world. Not just to those with uncertainty about their being, but also to those facing other life challenges. Norrie is defining another path that one may follow.
BJOB,
24-01-2009
- Alaska
Live the drream!
