The ancient Chinese sage Confucius once described the harmony between husband and wife and children as "the music of lutes and harps". The influence of Confucius on Chinese family life - particularly his teachings on filial piety and on the relationship between stable family life and a stable state - is still felt today.
Click to listen to the documentary on the Family in China
Since the days of Confucius, however, a great deal has changed, especially so following since the creation of the People's Republic.
In 1950, the new communist rulers introduced a new marriage law; it was the first law enacted in communist China, even before the constitution. By outlawing age-old practices like concubinage, bigamy, the bartering of brides and dowry, the new rulers signalled a break with the feudal marital system and redefined the relation between family and state.
Family life in China has undergone equally radical changes in the post-Maoist era. The first single parent's club in China was recently set up in Beijing, reproductive services have been made legal for single women, telephone advice lines for gays have been set up in Shanghai, and the Divorce Club of Shanghai was launched on Valentine's Day this year.
With the introduction of market reforms, increased urbanization, a rising level of prosperity and education, and growing private responsibility, Chinese family life is increasingly reflecting trends in the West.
One-child policy
However, a unique aspect of family life in China is the country's one-child policy, which has been enforced by the authorities since about 1978 and which restricts families in the cities to one child only. In the countryside, couples may try for a son if the first-born is a daughter, and exceptions are made for certain regions and minorities.
Nevertheless, the one-child policy has had a profound effect on the relationship between parents and children, the status of women, marital prospects, education, urban planning and even the design of cars. The first generation of children of the one-child policy have now reached adulthood and are developing their own unique new view of family life.
The one-child policy has succeeded in bringing down the birth rate from 26 percent to 8 percent a year. However, the traditional importance of male lineage and of the son as a support to the whole family, especially in rural areas, in combination with reproductive technology and the one-child policy, has resulted in a serious sex-ratio imbalance in China today.
"Lonely hearts club"
The gender imbalance has now reached 120 boys for every 100 girls born. It is believed that 40 million men will not find wives in the next ten years, some of them are already living in "bachelor ghettos", and China has been described as "the world's biggest lonely hearts club". Cases have been reported of women being abducted, and because of the importance of carrying on the male lineage, some men resort to sharing or borrowing a wife, who is then free to go after she has produced a son. The authorities have tried to deal with the sex-ratio imbalance by, for example, forbidding prenatal sex screening.
The problem is compounded by the migration of a huge "floating population" of productive rural adults to the factories and cities where their labour is fuelling China's economic boom. There are villages where children and the elderly are left behind to care for each other. Few migrant rural women are willing to return to the countryside. They hope to find urban husbands in order to obtain urban registration, so they can qualify for better housing, pensions, jobs and health care schemes.
Infidelity
While families are spreading out to wherever work can be found, marital infidelity and especially cohabitation have become so predominant that the new marriage law of 2001 explicitly condemns bigamy and polygamy.
"My personal experience is that it is unspoken, people gossip and everyone knows in the village, but it is not openly articulated, as long as it doesn't break the unity or economic cohesion of the family,"
says Melody Chia-wen Lu, an affiliated fellow with the International Institute for Asian Studies at the University of Leiden, specialised in gender issues and migration.
Postponement
In contrast to the rural population, young educated urban professionals are facing very different problems when it comes to marriage and family life. With the increased privatisation of education, health care and care for the elderly, they are under enormous pressure to get excellent grades, to get into university and compete for good jobs. That means postponing marriage until they can afford to buy an apartment and provide well for a child. The average marrying age is now 28 for men, 27 for women.
Chinese citizens are required by law to care for their elderly parents, and being an only child adds to the pressure. At the same time, surveys show that 40 percent of men and 47 percent of women disagree with the idea of raising a child for one's own security. Melody Lu believes the emotional aspect of parenthood is gaining ground over considerations of economic security.
Nuclear norm
The nuclear family is quickly becoming the norm, especially in the cities, where 60 percent of families consist only of parents and children. Extended families, including all one's cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles, get together to renew their bonds at least once a year, especially during the Chinese Spring Festival. The first generation of offspring born under the one-child policy still have aunts and uncles and cousins, but many of their children will not.
As in the West, some young urban professionals, including women, are opting to remain single, while some couples settle on being "dinkies" (double-income-no-kids), and there is more divorce, particularly in the cities. The 2001 revision of the family law reformed the legal position of divorce, simplifying the procedure. Melody Lu says marriage is no longer a life-long thing but a contract between two individuals. "It's easier for urban people to treat marriage as a contract, but in the rural area there is still the cultural stigmatisation", Lu points out,
"You have more trouble finding a new partner. In fact a lot of divorced women have to migrate to find another husband, because it is very difficult to remarry in the same locality." Furthermore, because of the continuing importance of the father-son axis, an only son is likely to be placed under the custody of his father, not his mother.
Change, not decline
All in all, family life in China is changing but is not by any means in decline. There is more emphasis on personal choice and freedom, more equality of the sexes, and there is an even stronger bond between parents and children than under the collective security of the Maoist era. Parents are prepared to make huge sacrifices for their children, partly because "always in the back of their mind is old age security", says Melody Lu.
The fact that it is the daughter-in-law that is usually the primary provider of care for the elderly has also changed the status and value of women within the family. And even though the trend is towards a smaller family unit, the proverbial Chinese family business is one institution that continues to thrive. Chinese family businesses account for one-third of the names on the Fortune-500 list of the world's biggest companies.
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sarah,
11-02-2008
- florida
How do teenagers in China live
Karen,
kcurrent@newulmtel.net,
08-06-2007
- United States
Questions for Lifespan presentations/papers
1. Do people plan their family size and time of pregnancy?
a. If so, what do people consider when planning to have a child?
b. How many children does the average couple want?
c. Is one gender “preferred” over the other?
d. What “folklore” helps predict gender?
2. How does the mother-to-be take care of herself during pregnancy?
a. How many doctor visits does she go to?
b. Is healthcare free for mothers-to-be?
c. Are there any kind of parenting classes or birthing classes she can attend?
d. Who does she turn to for answering questions she has about pregnancy?
e. Are there drugs/substances she avoids? That she takes to help?
3. Childbirth
a. Where does childbirth usually take place?
b. Who attends the birth?
c. What are the childbirth mortality statistics?
d. How involved is the father in the childbirth process?
e. What is the age of most mothers? The rate of teenage pregnancy?
f. How are children born with disabilities treated/handled? Attitudes toward them?
4. How are infants cared for?
a. Where do they sleep?
b. What are they fed?
c. Who cares for them?
d. Do they go into daycare?
e. How are they comforted? Played with?
f. What are the country’s infant mortality statistics?
g. Are there any rites or rituals for children during this time period?
5. Daycare
a. Is there daycare?
b. What is daycare like?
c. Who operates daycare?
d. When do children go? How long do they stay?
e. What do most people think about daycare for infants?
f. Do parents have a lot of time with their infants?
g. Is there maternity or paternity leave in your country? How long?
6. Early Childhood Issues
a. Who cares for children during the preschool years?
b. Do parents try to help their children “get smarter”? How?
c. What kinds of experiences do parents provide for their children? Girls? Boys?
d. Do both moms and dads take care of the children?
e. What percentage of moms work outside the home?
f. What is kindergarten like? Do they teach math and reading?
g. How are children disciplined? Does discipline differ for boys/girls?
h. Are there any rites or rituals for children during this time period?
7. Middle Childhood
a. How are the school systems set up? Public access to education? Good?
b. How do parents emphasize the need for education? Do they? For girls and boys?
c. What is the role of religious schools? Is religion obvious within the public schools?
d. What kinds of friendships do children have in these middle years? Where do they go? With whom? How freely do they move about without adults?
e. Do children work? If so, where and how many hours? Why do children work now, if they do?
f. How do parents help children learn self-confidence and good social skills?
g. How are middle school age children disciplined at home? At school?
h. Are there any rites or rituals for children during this time period?
i. Do children play with other gender classmates?
8. Teenagers
a. When does “teenage” start? Does your country have a special time for being a “teen”?
b. What are teens responsible for at home?
c. Do teens work? How much? Where? Why?
d. Do teens get along with their parents? What causes problems?
e. Do teens date? Who do they date? What do they do or where do they go on a date?
f. Do teens break up into smaller groups to socialize fairly exclusively with? What are some of the types of groups?
g. What is the teenage pregnancy rate?
h. How would parents react in general, if a teen girl became pregnant? How is teen pregnancy viewed in society?
i. How is male sexuality viewed in society? Are males to be chaste? What is the reality?
j. Is schooling emphasized? Is higher education talked about and encouraged? Who or how many teens go on to higher education?
k. What influences teens (TV, etc.) the most?
l. What kinds of clashes happen between the generations?
m. How are teens disciplined? At home? At school?
n. Are there some important rites or rituals for teenagers?
Young Adulthood
1. What rites of passage indicate a person is now an adult?
2. At what age and under what circumstances do young adults leave home?
3. Does leaving home differ for males and females?
4. Where/how do most people find people to marry? Are people expected to marry?
5. When do most people marry? How is the marriage celebrated?
6. What is the divorce rate? How do people look upon divorce?
7. How do people choose a career?
8. How is education looked at in young adulthood? How many people go on to college?
9. When do people start families? How do they decide? How many children?
10. How do people take care of health care needs in young adulthood?
Middle Age
1. When do people “retire”? Do they? How do they provide for themselves?
2. Do middle aged people go back to school?
3. What is the literacy rate among the adults in the culture?
4. What challenges face people in middle age?
5. How are middle age individuals looked upon in the culture?
Elders
1. When is person a considered an elder?
2. How are elders looked upon in the culture?
3. Who cares for elders? Where do they live?
4. What do elders do for a living? Do many of them need to still work?
5. Who attends a dying person? Where do most people spend their last days?
6. What rituals surround death?
7. How do people cope with the death of an elder?
8. How are elders remembered after they are gone?
Meghan,
nahgemsisiht@yahoo.com,
09-05-2007
- UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
I JUST THINK IF YOU DON'T THINK WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR COUNTRY, MOVE! SIMPLE! I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT MINE BECAUSE I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR...BUT SORRY MAYBE WE'LL SEND TROOPS lol
fly ,
01-02-2007
-
What the hell are u talking about? The third reader who signed his country is Canada. You cannot say like that because sometimes like if the couple had already made a mistake to have a second baby, the government cannot let the baby go back to their mother's body? Is that righr? Paying fine is just the way to control the number of population. It is not as what you have said, there is no relationship between the extra baby and the government. Yes, actually the couple who has the second baby is alreay commit a crime; however, the government is worked for the residents of China. I think it is not just paying a fine or using another way to seal with this issue. In additiom, China is such a big country, we cannot have the same system as US or UK but I think our country's policy system is ok because the system has suceed to control everything in china goes well.. that is enough..
anonymous,
--,
03-09-2006
- Canada
About the one child policy. I was furious about this policy in fact. I was born in China and knew that this policy has been implemented very stricly and sometime in brutal ways. I do not know how many people herecan realize that this policy is very inhumane. What is this? You are forced to have only one child? What the bullshit it is? You even can not decide your own offsprings. What else can you expect? From my experience in China, I know that there are many ways to have more than one child. For rich people, they simply pay the fine which is about say around Euro.2000 in order to get another one. For the poor, they simply flee to some rural area in order to give birth. In the show, people say around 300 million people are "Controlled" through this policy. Do you really believe? They also say that current population is 1.3 Billion n China. Do you believe it? Those data are from the government and I wonder how many people will trust this at all. During that MAO period, every family was encouraged to have more children and families with 7 or more kids will be awarded kinda medal sometimes. The reason is simple. They need more people to enlist. Now, they say only one child is allowed for each family. So what is it? Are we simply pigs or rabbits that need
sort of regulations according to conditions? BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT! People in China are paying the price which has been made by the government itself.
I also do not understand why the guy from India said it is a welcome move. I guess for you , it might be cause you simply browse the message and listen to the radio show. But I could safely tell you my friend, this is NOT a welcome move in China. People just have no choice to fight against the government. The whole international community only cares about the figures instead of the brutal stories involved. Plus, the so-called "good result" from this policy is also suspicious due to lack of monitoring. In a sum, this one-child-family policy really sucks, people have to live with basic dignity or better die.
Muthusivakumaran,
28-08-2006
- India
I go through this Family situations in China in your website. Though, Chinese Government's regulation of one child policy is implemented strictly, it is a welcome move. Because, if it did not do so, China now would have experinced serious consequences by overgrowing population. Thank You for allowing me to send this comment.
jasmin,
27-08-2006
- India
Interesting programme but points towards a serious problem coming up in the near future.Apart from South-East Asia, most of the countries will face a serious threat of shrinking families leading to extinction of their races in the distant future.Sounds farfetched but that's the truth.It's tricky you know , to curb the ever-increasing population and also maintain a family having different relations.The most important thing is to save the girl-child from extinction particularly in Asian countries like India where boy-fixation is so strong that female foeticide is done without even batting an eyelid though the govt has made it a criminal act having 5-7 years of imprisonment but underhand dealings still go on..
In a country like China where one child norm is there ,the only way to preserve a family is to have a a new relation besides maternal and paternal : Fraternal.
I think to survive in a society you need a family network and that really doesn't have to be biological. We already have network of friends and that relation can be further elaborated to make a committed extended family where you can have brothers and sisters and kids can have aunts and uncles , without disturbing the existing population level and that can result in taking off the pressure from the single child in shouldering the family responsibilities which can be shared.Though the disproportion between male and females is seriously disturbing which can lead to perverted trends, for that I think the only solution is ethnic mixing , marrying into other races which can beautifully result into new hybrid population.
We are living in a global village and have to make use of the available resources.
Any comments ?
